It’s a Cold Blogger Blogging

Typically, about this time of year (January) in southwest Missouri, I begin to internally grouse about how cold it’s been. It’s 21 degrees Fahrenheit this morning and my body is now set on low shiver. (While trying to save a little energy, I’ve set my thermostat down to 69F in early December and that’s pretty much where it’s been at ever since). Let’s see air temp is 69F, body temp is 98F. What’s wrong with that picture? To keep warm, I have a couple of strategically placed space heaters that have already seen quite a bit of use. I generally have one close to my feet, which are cold most of the time even with socks on.

When I get to feeling really blue, like I am today, I go on the internet to see how cities to my north are faring. They say misery loves company, especially if that someone is more miserable than you are! So, I look at a map and right away I feel much better. [Silent cackling] Minneapolis is in the negative digits at just a few degrees below zero. My Gawd, Fargo, North Dakota is at fourteen below. Wow, I’m feeling so much better now.

Cold, I will assume, is more or less a state of mind. That is, until hypothermia sets in, and then you have some real problems. My current state of mind is somewhere between ickythermia and happythermia. It's leaning more to the former as the weather lady on TV just informed me that things are going to get even more dicey early this coming week (January 11th and 12^th) with forecast highs in only the upper twenties and lows hovering close to or below zero. Bout time I looked for that old pair of thermal underwear, I guess. I haven’t even bothered to see what’s going to happen to the folks in Fargo. What do you call a frozen man in that city...a Fargosickle of course!

On a brighter note, this will be an excellent opportunity to see how well my winterized house holds up against some truly cold conditions. My heat pump will just have to content itself with running almost entirely in ‘auxillary mode’ which is double-speak for ‘this is an f’ing emergency mode’. Were I of the mind, I would take that opportunity to watch the little metal disk on the electric meter go nuts. I won’t, but I do intend to call my local power cooperative to see if they might need some more Champagne! I guess it’s the best of both worlds when you can crank the heat up to your hearts content and get paid for it all at the same time.